ABDICATE@To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
ABSENTEE@A missing golfing accessory.
ACOUSTIC@An instrument used in shooting pool.
ACCRUE@People who work on a ship.
ADAMANT@The very first Insect.
ADORABLE@What you ring when you go visiting.
ALARMS@What an octopus is.
ALIMONY@The Fee A Woman Charges For Name-Dropping.
ANTIDOTE@The reason Mom's Sister keeps hugging you every time she can catch you.
ANTELOPE@Why Grandpa won't forgive Uncle!
ANTISOCIAL@Mother's sister being friendly.
ANTE MEREDIEM@Thata's why he's my Uncle.
ARBITRATOR@A cook that leaves Arby's to work for McDonald's.
ARCHAEOLOGIST@A man whose career lies in ruins.
ARTERY@Study of paintings.
ASPIRE@Where dead donkeys are cremated.
ATLAS@Finally
AUSTRALIAN KISS@Same as French Kiss, ... only down under!
AVAIL@Piece of cloth that stops woman from looking so ugly.
AVOIDABLE@What a bullfighter tries to do.
BACTERIA@The rear entrance to a cafeteria.
BARIUM@What doctors do when treatment fails.
BIOLOGY@Study of shopping habits.
BIPLANE@The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear.
BOYCOTT@His crib.... not hers!
BRIDGE@A game in which a wife is always eager to do her husband's bidding
BROADBAND@An all girl musical group.
BRUISE LEE@Inept martial-arts student.
BUDGET@An attempt to live below your yearnings.
BURGLARIZE@What a crook sees with.
CAESAREAN SECTION@District in Rome.
CANTALOUPE@Got to get married in Church.
CARNATION@Country where everybody has a four wheeler.
CARAMEL@A motorized camel!
CAUTERIZE@Made eye contact with her.
CHOOSY BLONDE@One for whom a Tom or a Harry won't do !
CIRCUMVENT@The opening in the front of boxer shorts.
CISTERN@Opposite of brothern.
CLIMATE@The only thing you can do with a ladder.
COFFEE@A person who is coughed upon.
CIONSIDE@What most people do when it rains.
CONSCIENCE@The thing which hurts when everything else feels good.
CONTROL@A short, ugly inmate.
COUNTERFEITER@Worker who puts together kitchen cabinets.
CROSS-EYED TEACHER@A teacher that loses control over her pupils.
CROWBAR@Where birds can get a drink.
DAMNATION@Beaver country.
DANCE@Vertical expression of a horizontal idea.
DARE@Not here.
DEBUT@De part of the body you must park to be seated.
DECAGON@De way you explain how your vehicle was a total washout in an accident.
DECAY@De letter which comes after de J.
DECLINE@Nudists in formation.
DENTIST@A magician who puts metal into your mouth, and pulls coins out of your pocket.
DEPTH@Height turned upside down.
DILATE@To live long.
DISGUISE@Such pains. Always troubling dismisses.
DINOSAUR@How a giant lizard feels after a tough workout.
DISNEYLAND@A people trap operated by a mouse.
DOGMA@Affectionate parent of the little s.o.b.
DOGMATIC@Run by canine power.
DONKEY@Instrument to get you into the godfather's house
ECLIPSE@What an English barber does for a living.
ECONOMIST@A person who knows more about money than people who have it.
EJACULATE (e-jac-u-late)@Jill greeting her boyfriend and informing him he's been tardy again.
ENEMA@Not a friend.
EYEDROPPER@A clumsy opthalmologist.
FEEDBACK@The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FIBULA@A small lie.
FICTION@The story told by a completed Income Tax Form !
FINITE@Sir Lancelot.
FLATULENCE@The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
FOBIA@The fear of misspelled words.
FORUM@In favor of drinking Bacardi.
GARGOYLE@An olive flavored mouthwash.
GINGER ALE@A drink that feels like your foot when it goes to sleep.
GOLD-DIGGER@A sweet young girl with the gift of the grab!
HABITUATE@Disgusting Mannerisms.... Smoking for example.
HANGING@A suspended sentence.
HATCHET@What a hen does to an egg.
HEROES@What a guy in a canoe does.
HUMBUG@A singing cockroach.
ILLEGAL@A sick bird.
IMPREGNABLE@A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INFANTRY@A sapling.
INFORMATION@How ducks are supposed to fly!
INKLING@A baby fountain pen!
INTENSE@Where campers sleep.
JOKEY@What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth.
KIDNEY@Midpoint of a child's leg.
LEFT BANK@What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
LOCOMOTIVE@A crazy reason.
LYMPH@To walk with a lisp.
MISTY@How golfers create divots.
MORBID@Higher offer
MUCUS@A cat swear word.
MUNCHKIN@What cannibals do to relatives.
NITRATE@Cheaper than day rate.
NODE@Was aware of.
OUTPATIENT@Person who has fainted after seeing a Doctor's bill.
OYSTER@A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
PARADOX@Two physicians.
PARASITES@What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
PARKING LOT@A place where arguments start from scratch.
PECAN@A container to urinate in.
PHARMACIST@A helper on the farm.
POLARIZE@What penguins see with.
POLYGON@Who left the cage door open?
POST OPERATIVE@Letter carrier.
POTASH@All that's left after you smoke the joint.
PRIMATE@Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
PROTEIN@Favoring young people.
PSYCHO-CERAMICS@The study of crackpots.
RAMPAGE@Section of a book about male sheep.
RATIFY@To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent.
REALM@To be charitable ... once again!
REBEL@What you have to do when kids don't come to class when first called.
RECOUNT@Honorary Title reaffirmed by Floridans.
RECOVERY ROOM@Place to do upholstery.
RECTANGLE@What the fisherman was left with after his brush with Moby Dick.
RECTITUDE@The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
RECTUM@It almost killed him.
REDUCE@A messed up point in Tennis, when you were on 'Advantage'.
REGATTA@Where the drunkard found himself tonight ... again!
RELIEF@What trees do in the spring.
RENDER@The Animals that draw Santa's carriage.
ROMAN@What you need to do to win the Regatta.
RUBBERNECK@What you can do to relax your wife.
SAUNA BATH@A slimming pool.
SEAMSTRESS@Describes 250 pounds in a size 6.
SELFISH@What the owner of a seafood store does.
SUBDUED@A guy that works on submarines.
TERMINAL ILLNESS@Sickness at an airport.
TESTICLE@A humorous question on an exam.
TREASON@What the acorn is to the oak.
TUMOR@An extra pair.
URINE@Opposite of "you're out"!
VARICOSE@Located nearby.
WHOLESOME@The only thing from which you can take the whole and still have some left.
WISE-CRACK@A comedian with a PHD.
YANKEE@The same as a quickie, ...but you can do it by yourself!
ZEBRA@Ze cloth which covers ze breasts!
